Where do I start? Maybe here…Father’s Day. A day of victory.
This weekend held yet more revelation and realization for me. How interesting my perspective of this weekend compared to the perspective of so many. Not bad in any way, just different. I didn’t even realize it until today.
The perspective I hold could be viewed as a tragic by some but, I view it as our victory. This was victory that took years to arrive at and was worth every moment of the battle. Some hills might not look like victories — in fact until today – until just a couple of hours ago there were some hills that I didn’t realize the flag of my children flew upon.
I had viewed those hills as lost to the enemy but now I see that they were not lost hills, but hills of victory. I just needed a different perspective to see my flag, our flag, waving in the wind.
It took today to see it. A different day, a different perspective, and the words of my oldest daughter brought it all home for me, “How sad,” she said. Those words brought my entire life into victorious perspective and I knew for certain that I had won the victory for my children.
In order for these words to make sense, I’ll tell you a bit of my story as pertains to the weekend and how the words, “How sad,” could possibly prove that our life is victorious.
Friday, I posted pictures of my husband and I on Facebook saying something to the effect of, “I have spent the last twenty-four Father’s Days with this amazing man whom God created just for me! You are perfect and I love you.” This didn’t seem odd to me at all. It was only natural to me that I would appreciate the father that I most admire in the world – my husband.
Later, either Friday or Saturday my oldest daughter changed her profile picture to one of her Father and herself at her wedding a couple of months ago. She just got her pictures from the wedding back on Friday so I didn’t think too much of it but I did wonder why she posted a picture of herself and her dad instead of her and her husband as her profile picture. Then, I thought, “Oh, how sweet. She loves her daddy.” It never occurred to me that she was posting a picture of her and her daddy for Father’s Day.
Then, as Saturday and Sunday progressed I started seeing tons of people posting pictures of themselves with their fathers saying, “Happy Father’s Day,” especially wedding pictures of daughters and dads.
I thought this was interesting. Posting a picture of me with my father would not even occur to me. The concept itself was foreign. The only reference point that I even have in my life for a father is my husband. So I did what came naturally to me, I posted a picture of me with the only father I would think to honor – him.
On Sunday, my youngest daughter posted a spread of funny pictures of her and her dad, “selfies” of her trying to get pictures with him but he kept running off or hiding from the camera.
At our Sunday family dinner our two daughters were talking about the pictures they posted on Facebook of them with their dad and I mentioned that I had realized today when seeing everyone posting pictures with their father’s on Facebook that I had two fathers, my birth father and a step father but I had never taken a single picture with either of them that I was aware of my entire life. To this, my oldest daughter responded, “That’s so sad.”
Huh…sad? I guess it is. But what is incredible to me about this entire story is that my children and I have such a huge gap in the concept of “father”. I consider this a great victory. I have no concept or reference point for having a relationship with a father whatsoever. So much so that I don’t remember taking a single picture together. There was no father to walk me down the isle and I have no concept of what it means to have the love of a father – period.
But, my children – every single one of them – have grown up in a home with their father loving them. Every one of them with tons of pictures to prove it! None of them can conceive what it would be like to not have their father in their lives. None of them can comprehend what it would be like to not feel loved by their daddy. This is why their flag flies on the hill. This is why I declare victory!
My second oldest daughter, my first daughter by birth was actually raised most of her life in the home of her father and not by my husband and me. For years, I looked at this as a hill lost but today, God showed me how my flag – HER flag is flying in victory. She got what I never had. She got to have what every one of my other children had. She wasn’t deprived of seeing her father every single day of her life. For this I am grateful. For this I declare victory!
I love every one of my children more than life itself and there is nothing I would not give up for them. There is nothing I would not give for them. But I realized today that I have given each of them something that is quite possibly more precious to me than the very air I breathe. Something I never had – to know the love of their father.